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Coming of Age - HerStory

1/22/2018

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Ephesians 4:14-15
we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ
 
Last week in Week #2 we focused in on the men with the “Coming of Age” message titled “Man to Man”…
 
This week as I’m sure you guessed we are going to shift our focus to the women…

I think we often neglect “Her Story” and “Her Story” is valuable…
 
I’ve had a pretty interesting life and exciting salvation but honestly I would much rather read about or watch a movie about my wife’s story…
 
I believe “Her Story” is deep in areas where mine is superficial…
 
“Her Story” is thoughtful & considerate where mine is careless and blind…
 
“Her Story” is filled with reality and relationship where mine is built on rhyme & reason…
 
Mary and I went to the movies on Friday night and saw “The Greatest Showman”…
 
Great movie about the circus and how it was started by P.T. Barnum…
 
The movie shows his whole life from childhood into adulthood and his failures and his successes and his ideas and what it took to see them become a reality…
 
The reality is that the movie was about him as a man and really 3 other men…
 
His father in law… His business partner… and a Journalist…
 
The real story of the movie if you ask me is about a bunch of “HerStories”…
 
His wife was special and deep…
 
His mother in law was silent but you knew she had so much to say…
 
The “other woman” in his life told her life story in 15 seconds of the movie and it was as if you knew her your whole life…
 
The young black girl in the movie cried at one point and you could literally feel a lifetime of pain…
 
“Her Story” is often told within “His-story” but even though it is harder to find its often an amazing story…
 
Matthew 13:44
44 "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
 
We are going to look for treasure in 4 areas as we focus on women…
 
If theres one thing I’m sure of it’s that these 4 are only scratching the surface of all things woman but I do believe these 4 will help many women…
 
Just like I asked the women to stay engaged as we focused on the men last week I want to ask the men to realize that you will probably learn some things today that will help you to love the women in your life just a little better…
 
We have grandmothers, and mothers, and wives, and daughters, and we need the Lord’s help to really see them in a world where “HerStory” is undervalued…
 
Last week I said that we live in a world where “Affirmation” is purposely withheld from men and this week I say that we live in a world where “HerStory” is trying to be erased…
 
The only thing scarier than “HerStory” being erased is “Her” rewriting “HerStory” as fiction instead of fact because of fear of being without a story…
 
Let me say that again…
 
The only thing scarier than “HerStory” being erased is “Her” rewriting “HerStory” as fiction instead of fact because of fear of being without a story…
 
Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."
 
Because of the curse of sin God says that the woman will have sorrow and pain but the key is that her desire will be for her husband…
 
This is about the desire for headship and authority and as we look at it this morning in many ways about acknowledgement and value and worth…
 
If a woman re-writes her story in pursuit of these things from the world she lives in and the men & women she’s surrounded by it becomes a tragic fiction even if she finds what she was looking for…
 
But if she finds the treasure that is “HerStory” written by God and hidden within “History” she can be who she was created to be and feel what she was created to feel…
 
So the 4 areas we are going to look at are “Her” Being “Secluded”, Being “Seen”, Being “Surrendered”, and Being “Strong”…
 
1.  Being “Secluded” - Alone
 
HerStory often unfolds “somewhere else”…
 
Genesis 2:21-23
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
 
When I think abut Eve “HerStory” is hidden and so amazing…
 
What do we know about Eve?… Really just 2 things…
 
1.  She was made from the rib taken from Adam…
 
2.  She ate a fruit she wasn’t supposed to eat and mankind became sinners destined to die…
 
Imagine if all of the women here this morning had your life story summed up by something that happened to you before you were even born and then by the single worst decision you ever made…
 
The sad thing is that this is actually the case for many women but rather than looking at just the single worst decision they’ve made it’s usually summed up by the collection of every bad decision they’ve made…
 
Women do this to themselves and they do it to each other and men definitely do it to them as well…
 
1st I want to look at what happened to Eve…
 
She was created from a rib that was taken from Adam and brought to Adam without any say in the situation…
 
One of the biggest issues for women even today is feeling like they are always trapped where they have no say in the situation and things are happening “to them”…
 
There are really only two ways to look at this… Fight to re-write the way you want to or look for the hidden story within the story…
 
I listened to a radio broadcast this week from women who were raped and had children as a result of the rape and from women who were actually the children born from mothers who were raped…
 
After being lost for words as I listened to these women I realized that they had all chosen not to re-write their own stories but to find the true “HerStory” of their lives hidden within “His-Story”…
 
God had showed each of these women things that many or dare I say most women will never see…
 
The focus here isn’t on rape its on who is writing the story you are reading as women…
 
Genesis 2:21-23
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
 
This sounds like a story about a man who took a nap… lost a rib… had a surgery… woke up to a woman being brought to him by God… made a declaration about who and what she was… and named her…
 
"HerStory" within that story is the real treasure…
 
How many women have tried to re-write that story rather than focusing on the true author of the whole story?…
 
I always think about what’s not said in this story…
 
How long did it take God to make HER?…
 
What did they talk about before God brought HER to Adam?…
 
Did God prepare HER to be led and covered by the man that He was leading and covering?…
 
Did God give HER a name that no-one could ever take from HER like a maiden-maiden name?…
 
Did God tell HER that Adam and the world were incomplete without HER?…
 
“HerStory” is a wonderful story that many women have never read…
 
Ladies… The story that God has written for you is so much better than the one you may be writing for yourself…
 
Jesus has to be able to get you alone…  and alone is the place most women fear the most…
 
I had a picture of what being alone has become in the life of women today… it’s a place of fear and abandonment and helplessness…
 
It’s actually the direct opposite of what it was originally and what Jesus is trying to restore in your life…
 
Alone with Christ is not like being alone with anyone else in you’re life…
 
1.  Being “Secluded”
2.  Being “Seen”
 
Many of us have heard the story of Esther or seen the movie “One Night with the King”…
 
We pick up the story with King Ahasuerus’ wife named Vashti trying to re-write her story by not coming to the king when he called her and she ended up losing everything…
 
Esther 2:1-18
1 After these things, when the wrath of King Ahasuerus subsided, he remembered Vashti, what she had done, and what had been decreed against her. 2 Then the king's servants who attended him said: "Let beautiful young virgins be sought for the king; 3 and let the king appoint officers in all the provinces of his kingdom, that they may gather all the beautiful young virgins to Shushan the citadel, into the women's quarters, under the custody of Hegai the king's eunuch, custodian of the women. And let beauty preparations be given them. 4 Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti." This thing pleased the king, and he did so. 5 In Shushan the citadel there was a certain Jew whose name was Mordecai the son of Jair, the son of Shimei, the son of Kish, a Benjamite. 6 Kish had been carried away from Jerusalem with the captives who had been captured with Jeconiah king of Judah, whom Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon had carried away. 7 And Mordecai had brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle's daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman was lovely and beautiful. When her father and mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter. 8 So it was, when the king's command and decree were heard, and when many young women were gathered at Shushan the citadel, under the custody of Hegai, that Esther also was taken to the king's palace, into the care of Hegai the custodian of the women. 9 Now the young woman pleased him, and she obtained his favor; so he readily gave beauty preparations to her, besides her allowance. Then seven choice maidservants were provided for her from the king's palace, and he moved her and her maidservants to the best place in the house of the women. 10 Esther had not revealed her people or family, for Mordecai had charged her not to reveal it. 11 And every day Mordecai paced in front of the court of the women's quarters, to learn of Esther's welfare and what was happening to her. 12 Each young woman's turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months' preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women. 13 Thus prepared, each young woman went to the king, and she was given whatever she desired to take with her from the women's quarters to the king's palace. 14 In the evening she went, and in the morning she returned to the second house of the women, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king's eunuch who kept the concubines. She would not go in to the king again unless the king delighted in her and called for her by name. 15 Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go in to the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai the king's eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised. And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all who saw her. 16 So Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, into his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign. 17 The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. 18 Then the king made a great feast, the Feast of Esther, for all his officials and servants; and he proclaimed a holiday in the provinces and gave gifts according to the generosity of a king.
 
Pretty amazing story right about preparing to come before the king…
 
Using wisdom to find out what the king likes and positioning yourself to be chosen by the king…
 
Actually while this turned out to be the will of God and Esther was used to save Israel I want to ask you to think about a couple things…
 
This is actually the kind of thinking and behavior that has so many women lost in this world…
 
King Ahasuerus didn’t really see her…
 
He saw the physical reflection of a woman wearing what he wanted to see her in and smelling like he wanted her to smell but he didn’t really see her…
 
He didn’t ask for “HerStory” and attempt to find out who he was looking at really was…
 
Adam may have made the same mistake with Eve by not asking God more about her?…
 
But what about you ladies?…  I think Esther was just as responsible for what King Ahasuerus saw as he was…
 
When a woman shifts her focus to being seen how others want to see her she grows further and further away from ever truly being seen because it becomes harder and harder to be “exposed”…
 
Esther 2:7 said…
Mordecai had brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle's daughter
 
King Ahasuerus saw Esther but Hadassah was standing before him…
 
This wasn’t one night with the king… this was one night with a boy who wasn’t ready to really see a woman truly exposed and able to tell “HerStory”…
 
I want to give you women some words of “Practicality”…

  1. Don’t show the world, or men specifically, Esther… Show them Hadassah
  2. Hadassah is worthy of telling “HerStory”…
  3. Hadassah has a maiden-maiden name that she can only find when she stands fully exposed and “SEEN” before God… the true King… Consider Eve's maiden-maiden name God gave her before bringing her to Adam
  4. Be wise and virtuous in how you “make a man out of the boys in your life”… Screaming "I am Hadassah hear me roar" is probably not the most effective way to help the boys/men in your life to "Come of Age"...
 
1.  Being “Secluded”
2.  Being “Seen”
3.  Being “Surrendered”
 
Luke 1:5-25
5 There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah. His wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. 7 But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well advanced in years. 8 So it was, that while he was serving as priest before God in the order of his division, 9 according to the custom of the priesthood, his lot fell to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.10 And the whole multitude of the people was praying outside at the hour of incense. 11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing on the right side of the altar of incense. 12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him. 13 But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. 14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth. 15 For he will be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. 16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, 'to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,' and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." 18 And Zacharias said to the angel, "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years." 19 And the angel answered and said to him, "I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings. 20 But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time."21 And the people waited for Zacharias, and marveled that he lingered so long in the temple. 22 But when he came out, he could not speak to them; and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple, for he beckoned to them and remained speechless. 23 And so it was, as soon as the days of his service were completed, that he departed to his own house. 24Now after those days his wife Elizabeth conceived; and she hid herself five months, saying, 25 "Thus the Lord has dealt with me, in the days when He looked on me, to take away my reproach among people." 
 
Being “Surrendered”  is not the same as giving up…
 
Elizabeth did not have the life she had desired and she was reproached because of her barreness…
 
I think that again in a story that seems to be “HiStory” it really is “HerStory” that stands out if you look for it…
 
Verse 6 said… they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless…
 
She didn’t lash out or act out because of her difficulties, she remained faithful to the Lord…
 
She encouraged her husband to serve the Lord and to serve others in the church even though she had needs…
 
I can see that she had “Surrendered” “HerStory” to the Lord to be author and finisher even if she would’ve written it differently…
 
The great thing about surrendering “HerStory” to the Lord is that we never know when the story is over that way…
 
Verses 24 & 25 say… 24Now after those days his wife Elizabeth conceived; and she hid herself five months, saying, 25 "Thus the Lord has dealt with me, in the days when He looked on me, to take away my reproach among people.”…
 
Hebrews 12:1-2
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
 
1.  Being “Secluded”
2.  Being “Seen”
3.  Being “Surrendered”
4.  Being “Strong”
 
There is a strength within women that often exceeds the strength of men…
 
1 Kings 17:8-16
8Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, 9 "Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." 10 So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, indeed a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, "Please bring me a little water in a cup, that I may drink." 11 And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, "Please bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." 12 So she said, "As the Lord your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die." 13 And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. 14 For thus says the Lord God of Israel: 'The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the Lord sends rain on the earth.' " 15 So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days.16 The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the Lord which He spoke by Elijah.
 
This is a story about the strength of a woman in the times of her greatest weakness…
 
Definition of strength:
Strength, power, force, might suggest capacity to do something.Strength is inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist.Power is capacity to do work and to act. Force is the exercise of power:One has the power to do something. He exerts force when he does it. He has sufficient strength to complete it. Might is power or strength in a great or overwhelming degree: the might of an army.
 
Being “Strong” is about sustainability and enduring even until the end… Even when everything you love and care about is on the line…
 
That is when the strength of a woman is truly on display…
 
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 
 
1.  Being “Secluded”
2.  Being “Seen”
3.  Being “Surrendered”
4.  Being “Strong”
 
For the women who want to hear your Father tell you the true story of your life I have a song I think will help you as you seek to hear from Him…

Click here to listen to a song about "HerStory"

 www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxmDMqc15Ak
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